Doubt
by Vol lady
Summary: Set shortly after Heath's arrival. Another man who vaguely resembles both Jarrod and Nick shows up at the ranch, but he doesn't claim to be another son of Tom Barkley. He claims that he IS Jarrod Barkley, and that the man who came to the ranch at the end of the war is an impostor.
1. Chapter 1

Doubt

When somebody puts something like that into your mind, it's hard to root it out. It just stays there. - _Victoria Barkley in A Time to Kill_

Chapter 1

Summer 1876

The man came to the front door completely out of the blue, only a few months after Heath had come to the same front door and turned the Barkley world upside down. That was rough, but they were adjusting beautifully, if occasionally awkwardly. This time the shake-up threatened to be far worse.

Silas answered the door. A man in his early 30s with dark black hair and piercing blue eyes stood there. Silas was startled for a moment. The man was tall and looked like a cross between Jarrod Barkley and Nick Barkley. The first thing Silas thought was _Oh, no, not another one._ "May I help you?" he asked.

"I'd like to see Mr. Jarrod Barkley," the man said, his voice a very deep baritone like Jarrod's.

"He isn't here at the moment," Silas said, "but he's expected back in the next hour or so. Would you like to wait?"

"Yes, I would," the man said.

Silas let him in and directed him to the living room, saying, "I'll tell Mrs. Barkley you're here."

"Mrs. Barkley?" the man asked. "Is that Jarrod's mother or his wife?"

"His mother," Silas said.

The man nodded, looking down. "That would be good, thank you."

Silas went back toward the kitchen, wondering just how he was going to break this to Mrs. Barkley. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, and Heath had been so recent a shock. He wasn't sure how this was going to go over.

Victoria was putting the last of the vegetables into the pot roast she was making. "Who was at the door?" Victoria asked as Silas came in.

"A gentlemen to see Mr. Jarrod," Silas said. "I told him he was expected soon so he's waiting in the living room."

"I'll go see to him," Victoria said.

"Mrs. Barkley – " Silas stopped her.

"Yes?"

Suddenly Silas didn't know what to say. "Well, I don't know what he wants but – "

"But what?" Victoria said.

"I think it's very important," is what Silas ended up saying, but the look on his face told Victoria it was even more than that.

She went into the living room without talking to Silas further and found the man looking around the room. For a moment, she thought it was Jarrod standing there and she was startled, but as he turned, it was he who looked startled.

"Hello," Victoria said, and her skin began to crawl. She too thought _Oh, no, not again._

The man said, "Hello," but he said it in a manner that reflected a familiarity with her, and a fond one.

Victoria extended her hand. "I'm Victoria Barkley. And you are?"

The man fumbled and finally said, "Uh – call me Jeb Barton, ma'am."

"Jeb Barton. Is that your name?"

The man fumbled again as he let Victoria's hand go. "Is Jarrod Barkley here yet?"

"No, but he's expected at any moment. May I help you in any way, Mr. Barton?"

"I – think I ought to wait until Jarrod gets here."

"Do you know him?"

"Yes – at least I think so. It's from the war."

The man was still looking at her in a way that made Victoria feel nervous but also made her think she ought to know this man, too. "Have you and I met before?"

The man chuckled a little and looked down at his feet. "I think we might have, but I really need to talk with Jarrod before we talk about that."

Victoria headed for the refreshment table. "May I offer you a drink, Mr. Barton?"

"No, thank you, I don't drink," he said and continued looking around the room.

Victoria caught what he was doing. "Have you been here before, Mr. Barton?"

He chuckled again, and it was oddly reminiscent of the way Jarrod often chuckled. "Yes, I believe I have."

Victoria was becoming almost light headed and thought she'd better sit down, so she went to the settee. "Won't you sit down?" she suggested.

But before Barton could be seated, the front door opened and Nick and Heath came in, talking to each other. When they saw they had a guest, they slowed, and stared. They saw the resemblance both Victoria and Silas had seen.

Nick put his hat on the table in the foyer and came into the living room, suspicion in his eyes. Heath followed, but with confusion in his.

"This is Mr. Barton," Victoria said quickly. "These are my sons, Nick and Heath."

Barton extended a hand, smiling at Nick but looking a little uncertain when he looked at Heath. Both Nick and Heath shook his hand, but for both of them it was just a formality.

"We're waiting for Jarrod," Victoria said.

Nick headed for the refreshment table. "Drink, Mr. Barton?"

"No, thank you," Barton repeated.

"Is there something we can help you with?"

"I think I'd better wait until Jarrod gets here."

"Do you know him?" Heath asked.

Barton nodded. "We met during the war."

Audra came down from her room at that point. Seeing that they had a guest, she slowed until she was standing beside Heath. "Hello," she said.

"Miss," Barton said politely, but that haunting familiarity in his eyes struck Audra, too.

"Mr. Barton, this is my daughter, Audra," Victoria said.

Barton nodded to her again.

Thankfully, it was only a minute or two later that Jarrod came in the front door. He tossed his hat onto the table in the foyer and came into the living room saying, "What a day I've had. I hope the scotch – "

Then he saw Barton and stopped. He looked at the man as if he thought he ought to know him but didn't.

Barton extended a hand. "Jarrod," he said politely.

Jarrod stared at him, and suddenly he realized who the man was. "Jeb Barton?"

Barton nodded as Jarrod took his hand. "Good to see you again."

Everyone in the family noticed that Jarrod didn't seem to be all that happy about seeing Barton, but Jarrod said, "My God, I thought you were dead."

Barton chuckled. "I gathered."

Jarrod said, "I guess you've met everyone."

"Yeah," Barton said. "We haven't talked much about why I'm here, though."

"Why are you here?"

"I think you know why."

Jarrod looked wary. "No, I'm not sure I do."

"Last time we saw each other," Barton said, more to everyone else than to Jarrod, "was the hospital in Washington at the end of the war. We both had head wounds – pretty nasty ones – and even though we didn't know each other before that, we ended up in beds next to one another. We looked so much alike and our names were so close that the staff was always getting us mixed up, remember?"

Jarrod nodded slowly. "I remember."

"Remember how we kept telling each other memories about ourselves, just to be sure we still remembered things?" Barton asked.

Jarrod nodded again. "I remember one morning you were just gone. They said you'd had a stroke during the night."

Barton nodded. "It was a long time before I could even start getting myself back. My brain was just scrambled, and I had to learn to walk again and use my left arm. I fought long and hard to get normal again."

"Well, you look good now," Jarrod said.

Barton nodded. "Funny thing. There was a spell I couldn't talk real well or write anything down, but I did realize that the people at the hospital were calling me by the wrong name. Was such a long time before I could talk that by then it was too late to correct them. And then I started to think about you – Jeb."

Everyone in the room, except Jarrod and Barton, literally jumped.

"What?" Nick said.

Barton looked at him, with that same look of familiarity he'd given Victoria earlier. "I'm not Jeb Barton, Nick," Barton said. "He is. I'm Jarrod Barkley. I'm your brother."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 _Barton looked at him, with that same look of familiarity he'd given Victoria earlier. "I'm not Jeb Barton, Nick," Barton said. "He is. I'm Jarrod Barkley. I'm your brother."_

"Now, wait a minute – " Nick started for Barton with rage in his eyes.

Jarrod held up a hand – awfully calmly, to his family's thinking. "Wait a minute, Nick. This man's been badly injured and been suffering for years. Just go easy on him."

But Nick was not so accommodating. "All right," he said, glaring at the man he thought was his older brother all these years, "if he's Jarrod Barkley, just who are you?"

Jarrod felt like he'd been punched in the face. "He's not Jarrod Barkley, I am," he said flatly.

"No," Barton said, just as flatly. "We traded memories for days before I had that stroke, and as soon as I was out of the way and you were healed, you took my place. I've known that for years."

"Then where have you been?" Nick asked.

"Recovering from my stroke."

"Jeb, you're just wrong," Jarrod said.

"No, I'm not," Barton said. "As Jeb Barton, you had a nothing life – no family, no home. So you took mine and left me to live out yours."

"Wait a minute, wait just a minute," Victoria said, getting up and putting herself between Nick and Barton. She looked carefully from Barton to Jarrod and back again –

And for a moment her whole world turned upside down. This stranger who had just come into their lives looked so much like both Jarrod and Nick that it sent her head swimming for a moment.

Nick saw it and steadied her. "Get out of here," he said to Barton.

Barton didn't press anything. He simply nodded and said, "I'm staying at Mrs. Tate's boarding house in Stockton," looking at Jarrod long and hard. "I think you and I need to have a long talk."

Barton smiled and nodded to the ladies, and then left without another word.

"Sit down, Mother," Nick said and guided her back to the settee. Audra sat down quickly beside her.

Then everyone looked at Jarrod.

He felt that punch in the face again and suddenly felt like a complete stranger. "Wait a minute, you can't believe -"

"Of course not," Victoria said quickly. "I know my own son, and it's you."

Jarrod breathed again.

"Jarrod, I haven't been here for long," Heath said. "And I'm still trying to figure out who's who. I'm not saying I believe this guy, but what's this all about?"

Jarrod flashed angry eyes at Heath for the doubt he thought he was hearing, but then he eased off. Heath was right – he hadn't been here long and it was small wonder he was unsure about what Barton had said. Jarrod looked away and stared blankly in front of him. "The man was badly injured. He's right, we were in beds next to each other, we both had head wounds, and we traded memories about ourselves to keep our brains clear, but his didn't stay clear. He didn't have a family or a home, and I think over the years as he came out of that stroke, he just convinced himself that he had mine. I think he really believes he's Jarrod Barkley."

"That's crazy," Nick said. "Why are you defending him?"

"Because I DID know him, Nick, and it just as easily could have been MY life that went that way! I could have been spending all these years dealing with a stroke!" Jarrod yelled.

Victoria got up and between them and raised her hands. "Enough. You two will just get louder and louder and not accomplish a thing."

"Well, let me ask one thing," Jarrod said, still staring angrily at Nick. "Do any of you believe him?"

"What?" Audra asked.

"Do any of you believe that I AM a fraud, and that this man is really your brother and your son?"

They all looked startled.

"Of course not," Nick said quietly.

Too quietly to suit Jarrod.

Victoria said again, "I know my own son," and she stared hard at Jarrod. "Let's put that part of the question away. I don't want to hear about it again."

Jarrod hung his head. "I'm sorry, Mother. I didn't mean to upset you."

Victoria said, "Why don't the three of you get cleaned up for dinner? I can't talk about this right now."

The men all nodded and trudged upstairs, but they didn't say a word to each other as they did.

Victoria sighed and went back to the settee. As she sat down, Audra shook her head, looking confused. "Why would that man come here and say he was Jarrod?"

"I think Jarrod's right," Victoria said. "The man is injured and confused, and alone. He remembered the stories Jarrod told him, and they're all he's had to hang onto all these years."

Audra sighed. "That's so sad."

Victoria watched her sons disappear upstairs. She was thinking about a couple other things that unsettled her. She knew her son – HER Jarrod – and knew he was not about to let Jeb Barton be cast adrift. Regardless of who was Jarrod and who was Jeb, the man she'd known as Jarrod all these years would want to help one way or another.

But more unsettling – Nick's suspicions had been aroused. Nick would let go of a suspicion even less willingly than Jarrod would turn his back on another human being in pain. She wouldn't accept that Nick could suddenly believe Jarrod wasn't really Jarrod – but could he?

XXXXXXX

Dinner went very quietly, and Jarrod finished fast and put his napkin down. "I need to go back into town," he said and got up from the table.

"Tonight?" Victoria asked.

"Tonight," Jarrod said, got up, came to kiss her and then left without another word.

Heath gave the first big sigh. "This whole thing is getting to him a lot more than he's letting on."

"You don't think he really is a fraud?" Audra said.

"No, I don't," Heath said quickly. "But what I think doesn't count much. I didn't know him before the war, and I'm just now getting to know all of you. He could be the fraud and how would I ever know?"

Audra said, "Well, I didn't know him before the war either, not really. I was too small. But he's Jarrod! I know him as well as I know myself!"

Nick didn't say anything. Victoria eyed him. "If anyone here has any real doubts, I think we best air them and address them while Jarrod is out of the room."

No one spoke up at first, but Nick finally put his fork down. "I don't doubt Jarrod either, not really, but there is one thing I know about him. He can keep a secret like nobody's business, and none of us can deny that."

"And just how do you think we can clear this up if you do think we should have doubts?" Victoria asked.

"I don't know," Nick sighed. "I guess I think Jarrod should get the benefit of the doubt until we know more about this Barton fellow."

"You can't be suggesting we talk to him some more," Audra said.

"I don't know what I'm suggesting," Nick said.

"Why don't we have the sheriff check this Barton fellow out?" Heath asked. "If he is pulling a fast one on us, he might have done it somewhere else."

"And if he really believes he is Jarrod?" Victoria asked. "Just how are we supposed to clear things up then?"

"You're all acting as if Jarrod's word means nothing to us," Audra said. "He's been with us since the war was over. If he wasn't really Jarrod, we'd know by now."

"I agree," Victoria said, "but I'm not sure we all do."

Nick looked up, knowing he was the major Doubting Thomas at the table. "I just don't like even the suggestion that there's a con man who's been playing us for all these years."

"Nick, you can't believe that," Victoria said.

"No, I can't," Nick said. "And I don't like the feeling, but – "

Nick couldn't finish.

Victoria said, "You realize, if you pursue this as if Jarrod has been lying to us all this time, and it turns out he hasn't been lying, you will be putting a very large dent in your relationship with your brother."

"I realize it," Nick said quietly. "That's why I'm not suggesting we do that. But what I think might happen is that Jarrod will pursue it. And where is that gonna lead? He might just talk himself into believing Barton has a point, or that we doubt him whether we really do or not, and all the consoling in the world isn't going to ease his mind."

"This is insane," Victoria sighed.

"That's exactly what it is," Nick said. "And Jarrod and his old head injury are caught in the middle. Whether he really is Jarrod Barkley or not, I know him well enough to know I don't want him coming out hurt in all this."

"I think we all agree on that," Heath said.

"So what do we do?" Audra asked.

"Get the sheriff to look into this Barton fellow," Heath suggested again. "Reassure Jarrod all we can that we believe in him."

Nick was still scowling.

"What do you disagree with, Nick?" Victoria asked.

Nick hesitated, then shook his head and said, "Nothing."

Heath pulled away from the table. "I'm gonna go into town and talk to the sheriff now," Heath said.

Nick started to get up. "I'll go with you."

"No," Victoria said.

Everyone looked at her.

"Not with the doubt rolling around in your head, Nick," Victoria said. "You had best get your own mind settled before you go trying to settle Jarrod's, because he can see right through you. He's always been able to see right through you."

Nick had to admit that was true. He gave a sideways nod.

Heath got up. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

Victoria said, "Talk to Jarrod while you're in town."

Everyone looked at her again.

"He should know we're not doing anything behind his back."

Heath nodded. "All right," he said and left.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Jarrod ran a weary hand through his hair as he tried to finish some paperwork in his office. It was nearly 10 now, and he really preferred being home unwinding from this ridiculous day, but he didn't feel right going home while anyone might be up. Jeb Barton had rattled him more than he wanted anyone to know, and he didn't want to deal with any doubts they might be having about him. He knew Nick especially was having doubts, and that hurt like hell.

A knock came on the door, and Heath stepped in. Jarrod wasn't all that surprised to see him. He leaned back in his chair. "Well, so you were nominated."

"Nominated for what?" Heath asked as he closed the door and came up to the desk.

"Check on me," Jarrod said. "See what I was up to."

"Well, no, not for that," Heath said, taking his gloves off.

"Then why are you here?"

"To tell you I was gonna go see the sheriff and have this Barton guy checked out," Heath said and sat down. "We didn't want to do anything without you knowing about it."

Jarrod felt a touch guilty for thinking what he had been thinking. "Thanks," he said.

"I know this whole thing has been rough on you, Jarrod," Heath said. "I'm sorry about it."

"Not your fault," Jarrod said and rubbed his eyes with one hand.

"You planning on coming home tonight?"

Jarrod chuckled. "After you were all asleep."

"We'll get to the bottom of this, Jarrod."

Jarrod's eyes flashed. "What's to get to the bottom of? Do you really not believe me?"

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what do you mean?"

"That we'll find out if Barton is faking, or whether he really believes he's you. I haven't known you very long, but one thing I do know is that if you believe he's really sincere, you won't do anything short of helping him all you can."

Jarrod calmed down. "We were both hurt bad, Heath, but he was hurt worse. I really thought that stroke had killed him. Nobody could tell me otherwise or tell me where he was."

"And you'd grown pretty close, trading all those memories."

Jarrod nodded. "Once in a while I'd wake up in the morning and think I might really be him – before all the fog of the drugs started to clear off. That was it, Heath. There were times back then I wasn't sure whether I was Jarrod Barkley or Jeb Barton. It wasn't until he was gone and I had recovered that I remembered, I really was Jarrod Barkley."

Heath eyed him. "Jarrod, are you doubting yourself? Are you afraid you're the one who doesn't know who he really is?"

"No," Jarrod said quickly. "I'm no fraud, Heath, knowing or otherwise. I'm Jarrod Barkley. My memories are really my own. But Nick doubts. Audra might doubt – she never has remembered me well from before the war. Mother…" He hesitated.

"Mother has no doubt you are her son," Heath said.

Jarrod leveled his gaze on Heath. "And you?"

Heath gave one of his lopsided grins. "Only the real Jarrod Barkley would agonize so much over this."

Jarrod chuckled.

Heath got up. "I'm gonna go talk to the sheriff. You want to give it about an hour before you leave for home, to be sure we're all asleep when you get there?"

Jarrod shook his head. "I'll go with you. If Nick doesn't have his stubborn mind made up about me after all these years, it's his problem, not mine."

Jarrod stood up, fetched his hat and strapped on his gun, and went out with Heath.

XXXXXXXX

When Fred Madden, the sheriff who had taken over after Sheriff Lyman was killed at the Sample farm fight, finished listening to the entire story, he made a face that was half unbelieving and half suspicious. He'd known the Barkleys for some time before becoming sheriff, and this was the last thing he expected out of them. He really didn't know what to make of it.

"Jarrod, you got any reason to believe this man has it in for you?" the sheriff asked.

Jarrod shook his head. "No. He might really believe he is Jarrod Barkley and I'm the impostor. But I assure you, Fred, I'm not the fraud."

"We just need to know about it if the guy is a con man," Heath said. "I've known my share, and they're real good."

Both Jarrod and the sheriff had known their share of con men too. "What's your gut telling you, Jarrod?" the sheriff asked. "Is this man sincere?"

"He is the man I knew in the hospital during the war," Jarrod said, "and we did share a lot of memories. And he did have a stroke. I'm inclined to believe he's sincere in what he believes, but it can't hurt to check him out."

"All right," Sheriff Madden said. "I'll check it out in the morning, but you might have more luck having your Pinkerton friends look into it."

"I've thought about getting hold of them, too," Jarrod said.

In a few minutes, they were finished with the sheriff, and Jarrod and Heath headed home. Riding in the darkness together, unable to see each other, they each found it easier to be with his own thoughts, and they didn't talk much at all. When they got home, Ciego at the stable was still up and took charge of their horses. They went into the house and found their mother still awake, sitting in the living room and reading a book.

"Waiting up for us?" Heath asked.

"Yes," she said honestly, closing the book. "Not that I was expecting you any earlier, but I found I couldn't sleep. Did you talk to the sheriff?"

"Yes," Jarrod said. "He suggested I talk to Pinkerton about this, too, so I'll wire them in the morning."

"Before or after you talk to Mr. Barton?"

Jarrod smiled. "You read me like you read that book."

"What do you plan to say to him?"

Jarrod sat down in the chair across from the settee where Victoria sat. "I don't know. Just try to talk to him some more, see if I can talk him back into realizing who he really is."

"Perhaps you should talk to Dr. Merar first," Victoria said. "You may be talking to a man with serious physical injuries he hasn't recovered from. They may be behind all this."

"You have a point," Jarrod said. "I wouldn't want to make matters worse."

"I have an early morning, so I'm going to head up to bed," Heath said and kissed Victoria on the forehead. "Good night, Mother. Good night, Jarrod."

"Good night," they both said.

Then, left alone, Jarrod and Victoria sat looking at each other.

"This has been hard on you," Victoria finally said.

"It's not every day you find out you aren't who you thought you were," Jarrod said.

"You don't mean that. You know who you are."

"Yes, I do, and I'm relieved that you do, too."

"I hope you never doubted me."

Jarrod sighed. "Nick's not sure about me. I never thought I'd see that."

"But I brought you into this world. I know who you are."

Jarrod laughed a little. "Talk to Nick, will you?"

"He knows who you are. He just has this aversion to being taken. His defenses go flying up whenever it's even a remote possibility."

"And he gets mad about it. We might have some repair work to do on our relationship when this is all over."

"It won't be the first time. Remember, when you were boys and you accidentally pitched him a little too hard up into the saddle and he went flying over the other side?"

Jarrod's eyes grew black. "Are you testing me, Mother?"

Victoria was stunned. "No, no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to sound that way."

"Are you sure?"

Victoria felt herself shaking inside. She really had just been reminiscing, not testing him – or had she? "I guess all of our relationships are going to need a little repair work."

Jarrod got up abruptly and headed for the stairs.

Victoria hurried after him and took him by the arm. "Jarrod, please – "

Jarrod turned around, his eyes more full of anger than she had ever seen. "Not you, Mother. Nick, all right, I can take it, but not you."

"Jarrod, I don't doubt you. I spoke without thinking. I spoke just like we always remember old times together. Please, forgive me."

Jarrod sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just a bit testy about the whole thing. I should be asking you to forgive me." He kissed her on the forehead. "Best we both get some sleep and start a new day in the morning."

Jarrod offered his hand, and she took it without hesitating. They climbed the stairs together.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Breakfast in the morning was still quiet and awkward, despite Victoria's and Jarrod's efforts to lighten things up. Nick and Heath left the table to go to work first, parting company like they did on any other day with a "See you at dinner." Once they were gone, Audra also got up, saying she needed to get some things together to take to some neighboring ranchers who were welcoming a new baby. Victoria and Jarrod were left alone, at opposite ends of the table.

"Well," Jarrod said, sipping the last of his coffee. "Here we are again, just the two of us."

"What are your plans for the day?" Victoria asked.

"I'm going into town. I'll wire Pinkerton, then I'll talk to Dr. Merar and then I'll talk to Jeb Barton. Maybe I can get Barton to see the doctor, maybe clear this whole thing up today."

"I hope you can do that. What can I do?"

"Nothing, really. If I can't bring Barton around, well maybe we'll have to think of something else. Maybe you can do some thinking along those lines, just in case."

"When you finish in town, if it's early enough, maybe you ought to ride out to where your brothers are fixing that fence line along the north road. Spending a little time with Nick might ease his mind a bit."

"Start the repair work already, huh?"

"It couldn't hurt."

Jarrod finished his coffee and got up. "You're absolutely right, as usual." He came to her and kissed her. "I'll get an early start on everything, and I'll see you at dinner."

Victoria smiled as he went out, and then she was left alone with all this. Her mind went where she didn't want it to go.

What if this Barton was right? What if he really was her son, and this man who had just kissed her – this man who had worked so hard all these years to keep this family together and secure, this man who had comforted her when she needed it and saved her from several dangerous situations – what if her Jarrod wasn't really her son? What if all these years he really was a fraud?

Or, maybe worse yet, what if he was the one with the injured brain? What if he truly believed he was Jarrod Barkley, but he wasn't?

Victoria shook all that thinking away. She knew her son. She knew HER Jarrod. He didn't need her doubt, not with Nick and even Audra wondering. He needed all the support he had given her over the years. He was HER Jarrod. He was her son.

XXXXXXX

Jarrod got to town and sent a wire off to the Pinkerton agency. By then, he knew Dr. Merar ought to be in, so he went to the doctor's office.

The doctor had no patients and was glad to see him. "Come on in, Jarrod!" he said amiably, with a smile and handshake.

Jarrod held his hat in his hand as he followed the doctor into the examining room.

"What's ailing you today, Jarrod?" the doctor asked as they both sat down.

"It's not me," Jarrod said. "I just need your advice about a very unusual situation."

"Oh?"

"At the end of the war, I was wounded – head wound –" Jarrod ran his hand across the side of his head, remembering how a chunk of his hair and flesh had been torn right away, remembering how bad it hurt and how scrambled his thinking had been. "I was in the hospital next to a man who had a similar injury. We used to tell each other stories about ourselves – memories about growing up, that sort of thing. We were just trying to keep our minds straight. This fellow looked a lot like me – so much that the staff kept mixing us up. Well, one night he disappeared. I was told he had a stroke. I never knew what became of him – I just figured he'd died. He turned up at our front door yesterday."

Dr. Merar jumped a little. "That must have been startling."

"That's not the startling part. He told my family that he was me – that I was a fraud. He was Jarrod Barkley, not me."

Dr. Merar looked more than surprised. A darkness came over his face, and for a moment Jarrod wondered if even Dr. Merar was doubting him.

"Doctor, I am Jarrod Barkley," Jarrod said. "I think – but I don't know – that with us both being so scrambled in the head, with the staff confusing us all the time, with us trading our stories all day, every day – I think as he recovered from his stroke, he just convinced himself that he was me. Now, I know I need to talk to him, but I'm wondering how to do that without causing him more harm."

"Wow," Dr. Merar said. "I wish I knew how to counsel you, Jarrod, but this is something I've never dealt with before."

"Who has?" Jarrod asked. "I've never heard of such a thing as this, and I really want to help this man remember who he really is."

"And stop claiming to be you."

"Yes."

Dr. Merar heaved a sigh, looked very deeply at Jarrod, looking for something in those blue eyes. "Well, first of all, I have to ask you about you. What things are bothering you about all this?"

"Somebody's claiming to be me and upsetting my whole family!"

"No, that's not what I mean. He had a head injury while you were both going through this confusion of identities in the hospital during the war – well, so did you. Everything that you think has happened to him, may have happened to you. Are you thinking that, even way in the back of your mind?"

Jarrod took a deep breath, sank back, and looked away. "You're asking me if I'm doubting myself, if I'm wondering that this man – Barton – if he's the one telling the truth and I'm the one whose mistaken about my identity."

"I'm not asking if you ARE mistaken – I'm just wondering if YOU'RE wondering."

Jarrod rubbed his forehead and began to tremble. "No, I'm not wondering. At least I think – no, no, I know who I am. I know the memories I have of my childhood are mine. They're real."

"This Barton fellow feels the same way, doesn't he?"

Jarrod's breath started to get away from him.

Dr. Merar noticed. "I don't mean to upset you or make you doubt yourself, Jarrod. But if you do have any misgivings at all, talking to this Barton man just may scramble YOU again. You're worrying about injuring HIM further, but unless you are perfectly secure in yourself, you may just injure YOURSELF when you talk to him."

Jarrod finally looked up. His deep blue eyes were very insecure. "What do you think I ought to do about this? I can't let the man continue to upset my family or go around claiming to be me. Doctor, even Nick – my own brother – has started to doubt me."

The doctor sighed, and thought. "Are you insecure at all about who you really are? Are you absolutely certain you are Jarrod Barkley and not this fellow Barton?"

Jarrod thought, and closed his eyes. "I WAS sure – at least I thought I was. Now my head is feeling as scrambled as it did when I was in that army hospital."

"Take a little time to search yourself. I think if you get away from everyone for the rest of the day, think about how you felt when you first got home from the war – did your family look familiar in the details, did your home match your memories completely, did your mother seem to be sure about who you were – did your dog know who you were? I think if you do those things your head will unscramble and you'll be more certain of yourself. If it doesn't help, come back and see me. We'll think about trying something else. But before you talk to this man, be very certain about yourself, or you could end up hurting you."

"And if I become more certain of myself – how do I talk to this man without making things worse for him?"

"See if he'll let you bring him to me. We can all talk together, or I'll see him alone if he'd rather. Just be very careful, Jarrod. You're holding both your futures in your hands."

Jarrod felt more shaky than ever to hear the way Dr. Merar put things, but he nodded. Dr. Merar sounded sensible, and Jarrod knew where he would go to be alone. It always worked before – and it was a place he remembered from before the war. Seeing it in front of him again would help him work through the memories he was _almost_ sure were really his. Almost.

Isla del Cielo would help him. It always had.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Audra had spent less than two hours in running to the nearby ranchers' home and coming back onto the Barkley property. The morning was lovely and she regretted being in a buggy and not on horseback, but she thought that she could always come out later on horseback, maybe visit Nick and Heath on the job. Lunchtime was coming up quickly now, though, and she wanted to be sure to spend it with her mother. She knew that this thing with the stranger Barton had her mother more upset than she'd let on. She didn't want her mother to be left alone too much today.

Audra thought back to the time when Jarrod came home from the war. She remembered it like it was yesterday, because frankly, she had been scared to death by this stranger everyone said was her brother. He stood in the living room in this dirty, damaged blue uniform. It had dark stains on it in a couple places – blood, she found out later. Only eight years old, Audra didn't understand what war was, but she knew by the look of this man that it was terrible and she didn't want anything to do with it. She didn't want anything to do with this man who everyone said was her brother Jarrod.

Barton showing up yesterday frightened her almost as much. Another stranger claiming to be her brother. But this one was saying that the man she'd come to accept as her brother was not her brother at all. Audra shivered and shook it all out of her head. She didn't want to think about this when she was alone. It shook her security to the bone.

She had just come onto the property when she saw him on horseback, this man named Barton. Audra tensed, and the horse sensed it through the reins. The man had turned in the lane, probably when he heard her coming, and he waited for her. She pulled up a fair distance from him, but he came up to her, and tipped his hat.

"Good day, Miss Barkley," he said, smiling.

"Good day, Mr. Barton," Audra said cautiously.

"I'm sorry to trouble you," Barton said. "I was heading toward the house. I didn't expect to be coming back so soon, but I just found out last night that Father – that your father was dead. I didn't know. I was wanting to express my condolences and I was hoping that someone would take me to his grave so I could pay my respects."

Audra said, "If you want to see the grave, it's right in a clearing beyond those trees over there, but if you want to visit the house, I think you should let me have one of my brothers come talk to you before you do."

Barton looked disappointed, but he nodded. "All right. I'll just visit the grave and be on my way."

Audra suddenly felt for the man. "Wait just a moment. I'll show you the way to the grave."

Barton smiled. It was warm and so much like Jarrod's that Audra shivered again, but she urged the buggy off the road and toward the nearby grave.

Barton followed along, and in only a minute or two they were at the place where nearly seven years earlier they had buried her father. Audra pulled up there and watched as Barton rode ahead of her and dismounted.

The man took his hat off and walked carefully up to the grave, and then he stood there, looking. Then his head bowed, and his shoulders seemed to shake. Audra realized he was crying.

She was utterly confused now. She remembered when they buried her father. She remembered Jarrod standing there just like this, his own tears falling. How could this man Barton be crying in so much the same way?

Audra climbed down out of the buggy, but stayed beside it. In a few minutes, Barton came closer to her, his hat still in his hands. Audra noted he was not carrying a gun. She also noted his face was wet, even though he was smiling.

"He was quite a man," Barton said. "I remember – when I was maybe three years old, long before you were born – he put me on a horse, a full grown horse, for the first time. I felt like I was sitting on a mountain. He told me that I had been riding smaller ponies for a couple months. It was time I learned to ride a full grown horse. I was only three! He took the time to take me around to be sure I didn't hurt myself. He was quite a man."

Audra felt her stomach clench. "You remember that?"

Barton nodded. "I know every one of you doubts me, and I don't blame you. I don't know how to convince you I am your brother, but I'm not gonna put a gun to anybody's head or anything like that. I just want the chance to convince you – to make this right. I want my family back. It's been so long – "

When Barton began weeping again, Audra's stomach unclenched, and she felt nothing but pity for this man. He had been through so much since that hospital at the end of the war. Either he was terribly ill in the mind – maybe irretrievably ill – or he really was her brother Jarrod.

Meaning the man she'd known all this years as her brother was either terribly ill in the mind, or he was an out and out fraud.

Audra shook her head. "Mr. Barton, I think you should go back to town. I'll have one of my brothers call on you later today."

Barton nodded. "Good day, then, Audra," he said, put his hat back on, remounted and headed back toward town.

Audra found tears suddenly flooding her eyes. She took a few steps toward her father's grave. He'd know. If he were here, he'd know, and he'd send Barton packing. He would know his own son – wouldn't he?

XXXXXXX

Audra was home in a few minutes, but her tears weren't that quick to stop coming. She went into the house, hoping to get up to her room to clean up before anyone saw her, but her mother just happened to be coming down the stairs and saw her. Victoria saw the tears right away.

"Audra, what is it? Is something wrong at the Madisons'?"

The Madisons were the family she had visited. She shook her head. "No, Mother, it's not that. I ran into that Mr. Barton on the way home."

Victoria quickly put an arm around her daughter and guided her to the settee in the living room. "What happened? Did he threaten you? Did he hurt you?"

"No, no," Audra said. "Nothing like that at all. He was a perfect gentleman."

They sat down. "Then what happened?"

"He said that he had just heard last night that Father was dead. He wanted to see the grave, so I took him there. He just stood looking at it, and when he turned around, I saw he'd been crying."

Victoria sighed.

"Mother, he's not lying. He really believes he is Jarrod."

"What else did he say?"

"Nothing, really. He wanted to come to the house to pay his respects, but I told him he best go back to town and one of the boys would come to him, so he left."

"Well, you did the right thing."

Audra looked up at her mother and saw the distress in her eyes. "Mother, what is going on here? It's not possible that this man really is – "

"No," Victoria said quickly. "It's not possible. He's merely a man who's been damaged and he latched onto stories your brother told him when they were in the hospital together because they're all he has."

Audra shivered yet again. "Mother, it makes me so – sad for him."

"You best be sad for your brother, too. You know this is turning his world upside down as well."

"We have to find some solution to this."

Victoria patted her hand. "We will. We'll talk about it in earnest this evening, and we'll decide how to proceed. In the meantime, you should clean up for lunch."

"Will the boys be here?"

"No. Jarrod's in town and Nick and Heath are working. They'll be back at dinnertime. In the meantime, you and I will occupy ourselves with some repair work that needs to be done on the boys' shirts and socks."

Audra smiled. "There should be plenty of that to keep us going."

"There is," Victoria laughed. "There always is."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

No one in his family except Heath realized that Nick had ridden into town only an hour or so after Jarrod left Dr. Merar's office. Heath had tried to talk Nick out of it and even wanted to go with him, but Nick was having none of it.

Nick had been itchy since they first starting fixing the fence, and it wasn't long before he said, "I need to have a talk with this Barton alone, and I don't want you following me."

"Why alone?" Heath asked. "What difference can it possibly make if I go with you?"

"I don't want him thinking we're ganging up on him," Nick said. "If Jarrod's right and the man's brains are scrambled, he could go crazy or something if too many of us seem to be after him."

"So I'll stay out in the street while you talk to him."

"Heath, I want to do this myself. I have to do this myself."

"Why? Because you're not sure this Barton guy isn't our brother Jarrod? Do you really think the man you've called your brother all of these years really isn't the man you sent off to war?"

Nick looked uneasy.

"Nick, that's crazy," Heath said. "So they look a little bit alike – "

"This Barton guy looks like both me and Jarrod at the same time."

"Yeah, he looks like you and JARROD! Come on, Nick. Jarrod is Jarrod. You know it, and I know it. Leave it alone and stay here and help me fix the fence."

"Heath," Nick said more quietly. "When you threaten the safety of my mother and my sister and the integrity of my family, I don't care who you are – Jarrod or you or Ulysses S. Grant. You're gonna answer to me. I gotta talk to this Barton guy and settle my mind before I make a stupid mistake and go knocking my older brother into the next county."

"Why won't you let me go with you?"

"Because. Because this is between me and Jarrod – or whoever the hell he is."

"Aw, Nick, come on." Then Heath realized something. "You still aren't too sure of me, are you?"

"No, that's not it," Nick said. "You've got nothing to do with it."

"Don't I? You didn't believe I was who I said I was, and now you don't believe Jarrod is who he says he is. You might not be feeling this way about Jarrod if you'd never felt that way about me."

"Heath – "

Heath turned away. "Go on, Nick. Do whatever you have to do. I'm gonna fix this fence."

Nick felt like dirt. He was alienating his older brother, and now his younger brother was feeling rejected too. Again. Nick sighed and shook his head. "Heath, I really don't mean it that way. I don't have any doubts about you, not anymore. You know that."

Heath looked over his shoulder at Nick as he went back to repairing the fence. "You sure about that, Nick? You doubt the man you've spent most of your life with. Why shouldn't you still doubt me?"

Heath looked away again. Nick realized everything he said was just making things worse. He mounted his horse and took off for Stockton.

When he got there, he wasn't feeling any better about the way he was treating either of his brothers. He wondered for a minute, as he passed Jarrod's office, if Jarrod was there, but he decided he didn't want to check on it. He went straight to Mrs. Tate's boarding house.

Mrs. Tate answered the door. She was an older lady, but very much a lady. Still quite attractive and with a smile that would light up a moonless night. Nick took his hat off and smiled. "Hello, Mrs. Tate."

"Hello, Mr. Barkley," she said. "What brings you by?"

"I'm looking for a man named Barton. He said he was staying here."

"He is, but he's not here now."

"Do you know where he might be?"

"No, I really don't. I suppose you could try the saloons. I know he went to one yesterday evening."

"He said he didn't drink."

"And he was stone cold sober when he came back in, so whatever he was drinking over there, it wasn't alcohol."

Nick looked over his shoulder and then back at Mrs. Tate. "Well, thank you, Mrs. Tate. I'll check around."

Nick started back to the street, putting his hat back on. For a moment he felt like an idiot, angering both his brothers for the sake of a man who just breezed into their lives and was probably lying through his teeth, or was one sick man. But he had to know. Nick admitted to himself that Heath was probably right. If he hadn't come along those few months ago and turned their lives upside down, proving that he was who he said he was – their father's son – well, Nick might not be doubting Jarrod now.

But he did doubt. It made no sense at all, but he did doubt. He had to know the truth. He just didn't know how to find it.

XXXXXXXXXX

It took Jarrod more than an hour, but he rode straight up to Isla del Cielo and tethered his horse to the tree there where he usually tethered him. For a moment he just stood and looked around, at the trees, at the lake, at the mountains in the distance. He looked hard.

And was not consoled. Every time he came up here, he noticed something he had never noticed before. That was one of Isla del Cielo's charms, the something new that the sunlight would reveal to him every time he came. This time, he saw a dead tree that was partly in the water, across the lake. The sun was hitting it in such a way that it almost lit up. Jarrod sat down on a fallen tree on his side of the lake and watched as the sunlight shifted and the dead tree on the other side disappeared into the shadows again.

Jarrod heaved a sigh and closed his eyes. This place that meant so much to him was not going to help him now. When he came back from the war and came up here, there were a hundred different details that he noticed and hadn't remembered, or hadn't even seen before. If it was going to help being here, it would be for the peace and the sounds of the birds that would quiet his soul when his eyes were closed.

This place was like that, almost hypnotizing. Jarrod let the sounds and the coolness of the air drift over him, and he cast his mind back the way Dr. Merar had suggested. He tried to remember arriving at the ranch, fresh from the war. He hadn't been home in four years. He remembered seeing some things that he had forgotten over those four years – the iron gate was bigger than he remembered, and the porch narrower. When he went inside, the first thing he thought was that the staircase was wider and more majestic than he remembered, and he didn't remember there was a small landing before a few more steps led up to the bedroom wing.

But on the other hand, he wasn't sure right now how many steps there were from the landing to the bedroom wing, and he'd been living in that house for a dozen years since the end of the war. It was a detail he just never could remember.

Jarrod tried to picture his mother. He remembered how she had run to his arms when he came in the door after being gone for four years. She held him like she would never let him go. There was no hesitation, no inkling that she was uncertain about who he was. True, she pulled back and said –

She said how much he had changed.

Jarrod covered his face with his hands. _No, this can't be right,_ he thought. _Of course that was the first thing your mother said. You'd been gone for four years, from 18 to 22. Of course you changed. You left as a boy and came back a man. Of course you changed._

Audra. Audra had changed a lot. She looked nothing like he'd been picturing her, but he remembered a four-year-old toddler, not the eight-year-old girl who greeted him and didn't know who he was.

Audra didn't know who he was.

Jarrod felt himself shaking like a leaf. His memories were scrambling around in his head, and he kept saying to himself, _Get a grip. You are Jarrod Barkley. You've always been Jarrod Barkley. Of course your mother said you had changed – you HAD changed. Of course Audra had changed – she was growing up. Of course she didn't know who you were – you'd been gone half her life. Stop it, Jarrod. Stop it right now!_

He tore his hands away from his face and opened his eyes wide. He looked all around at his Isla del Cielo. He had named this place before he went away to war. This was the most special place in the world to him, and it always had been since he first came here as a boy.

Didn't he first come here when he was a boy? Jarrod's breath began to run away with him.

And then it hit him.

He had never told anyone about Isla del Cielo. Not his mother, not his father, not Nick – and not Jeb Barton.

He had never told Jeb Barton about Isla del Cielo, and Barton had never told him about it. He and Jeb Barton had never talked about this place at all – he was more certain about that than anything else in his world right now. All his memories about this place were HIS memories, not something he remembered from someone telling him about it.

He suddenly knew for a complete certainty – he was Jarrod Barkley.

He got up, mounted up and quickly headed for town again.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

As Jarrod rode back into town, he met Nick coming out, and it surprised him. They stopped, looking at each other warily.

"Nick, what are you doing here?" Jarrod asked.

"Looking for Barton," Nick admitted. "But I didn't find him."

Now Jarrod looked surprised. "He's not in town?"

"I checked at Mrs. Tate's, and I looked in every saloon. He ain't here."

"You don't think he's gone out to the house, do you?"

"I don't know, but I was planning to go find out. You coming with me?"

Jarrod nodded, and they were off together. They did not speak at all. Neither one of them was exactly sure whether it was because they were concerned about their mother and Audra being alone with Barton, or whether it was still the suspicions Nick harbored about his own brother, or what it was, but they rode in silence and in less than an hour, they were going through their front door.

"Mother?!" Nick yelled, and for once Jarrod didn't cringe.

Victoria came in from the dining room. "Nick, for heaven's sake – "

"Are you all right?" Nick asked quickly.

"Of course I'm all right. Audra and I were just finishing lunch. Are you boys hungry?"

Jarrod and Nick looked at each other and breathed more easily. "We were worried," Jarrod said. "We were in town looking for Barton and we couldn't find him."

Victoria waved them into the dining room. "Come have something to eat. We'll talk."

They left their hats on the hatrack in the hallway and followed Victoria into the dining room. Audra was still seated there, but her plate and Victoria's were empty. There was still food on the table, so Nick and Jarrod sat down and dug in.

Silas came in with a fresh pot of coffee and put it down. He took the one that was already there away and back to the kitchen.

Victoria sat down at her place and asked Nick to pour her some fresh coffee, which he did.

"Barton was here," Victoria said.

Nick and Jarrod both looked up, eyes angry. "What?" Nick said.

"Not at the house," Victoria said. "Audra ran into him out on the road."

Both men looked at Audra now. She said, "He didn't bother me in any way. He had heard last night that Father was dead and he wanted to visit the grave. He wanted to come here and express his condolences, but I talked him out of it."

"Did he go to Father's grave?" Jarrod asked.

"Yes, and then he rode back toward town."

"We didn't find him there and we didn't run into him on the road."

"I wonder where he's gone," Nick said.

"Probably just slipped into town without us knowing it," Jarrod said.

"I went to Father's grave with him," Audra said.

Her brothers flashed angry eyes at her. "Are you out of your mind?" Nick asked.

"He was a perfect gentleman the whole time I was with him – maybe five minutes or so," Audra said.

"Even so, you had no business being alone with the man," Jarrod said.

Audra looked angrily at him. "It just happened that way. I stayed with him while he visited the grave. He cried."

Nick and Jarrod still looked angry, but it softened a little.

But Nick said, "And that makes him safe to be with?"

"No, of course not," Audra said. "But I – I couldn't help feeling sorry for him. He cried over Father's grave like he was – " She fumbled for words.

"Like he was Tom Barkley's son," Jarrod finished the thought for her, but then he threw his napkin down and got up.

"Jarrod – " Victoria started for him.

"I've talked to Dr. Merar," Jarrod said, "and I need to talk to Barton, today."

"Eat something before you go."

Jarrod threw a sandwich together and walked out with it. Victoria looked at Nick. Nick got the message. He too threw a sandwich together and hurried after Jarrod.

Audra looked stricken at her mother. "I didn't mean to make Jarrod think – oh, Mother, I'm messing things up worse."

Victoria shook her head quickly. "You're not messing things up. I don't think Jarrod took what you said the wrong way. Just remember – Jeb Barton is Jeb Barton, and the man who just left here is your brother Jarrod. I know my own son, Audra."

Audra nodded, even if she still looked upset. Victoria realized that they had a long way to go to get by this, but to even begin doing that, they had to get Barton out of Stockton completely. She just hoped Jarrod and Nick would not take the wrong approach in doing that.

XXXXXX

Nick caught sight of Jarrod about a hundred yards ahead of him in the road just after he left the stable yard. He whistled loudly – Jarrod stopped and turned his horse.

"Jarrod! Wait up!" Nick called.

Jarrod waited for him to catch up.

"I wanna go with you," Nick said and pulled up beside Jarrod.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Nick," Jarrod said. "I don't want to gang up on him."

Nick heard the echo of his conversation with Heath, and he found himself saying the same thing that Heath had said to him. "I can always wait in the street."

Jarrod hesitated.

"You might need help looking for him," Nick tried.

Jarrod still hesitated.

"Look, Jarrod, I've been the back end of a horse about all this. You're mad at me, and Heath's mad at me, and even Mother's mad at me and I've earned it all. Let me make it up to you."

"Why is Heath mad at you?" Jarrod asked.

"He thinks I wouldn't have been suspicious about you if he hadn't come along and shook us all up."

"Oh, Nick, you didn't – "

"Yeah, I did. I told you, I've been the back end of a horse and I have a lot of repair work to do. Let me start with you. I'm sorry I had even the slightest doubt about you. It was unfair and insane and I can't even come up with an excuse for it."

"I can," Jarrod said. "You were born suspicious. The first time you looked at me, you seemed to be wondering if I was even human."

"Yeah, well, that is me, isn't it?"

"It is," Jarrod said. "Come on."

They rode together into Stockton, not talking much, but now they didn't need to. When they finally rode into town, Nick asked, "How do you want to do this?"

"Let's split up," Jarrod suggested. "You try the saloons on the north end of town. I'm gonna try Mrs. Tate's and the south end. If you find him before I do, come looking for me. I'll just be working my way to the middle."

"I'd rather you come find me before you talk to him."

Jarrod eyed him unhappily.

"I'd rather you had some backup. If this guy is for real, he's had a head injury. We don't know what he'll do."

Jarrod nodded. "All right. Whichever one of us finds him will come looking for the other. If neither of us finds him, we'll meet at the sheriff's office when we're done looking. All right?"

Nick nodded and headed off for the north end of town.

Already at the south end, Jarrod was close to Mrs. Tate's boarding house and stopped there first, but Mrs. Tate hadn't seen Barton all day. Jarrod asked her to tell Barton that he was looking for him and would stop back in an hour or so.

Jarrod remembered Barton didn't drink, but the saloons were still the next best bet. They were there for socializing, too, after all. With a big sigh, Jarrod went looking.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Heath finished fixing the fence, and he loaded the wagon back up. He was mad about doing it alone. He was mad about Nick being mad about Jarrod and putting some of the blame on him for it. He was mad about feeling like a mistrusted outsider again.

The horse that was hitched to the wagon looked over his shoulder at Heath. Heath glared at him. "What, you too?"

Then he realized it was pretty stupid to accuse a horse of blaming him for something.

It was only about two in the afternoon. There was still plenty of work to be done, but Heath wanted to take the wagon back to the house and get his horse instead. In about half an hour he was back at the barn and gave the wagon to Ciego.

"How's it going, Ciego?" Heath asked as he climbed down.

"Oh, I don't know, the excitement!" Ciego said.

"What excitement?" Heath asked.

"I'm not really sure, but Senor Nick and Senor Jarrod rode in here a little over an hour ago, and then Senor Jarrod rode out fast about five minutes later and Senor Nick took off right behind him."

Heath suddenly felt his worry overtake his anger. "Where did they go? To town?"

"Si, they went that way. I think they were heading for trouble."

Heath started for the house. "Ciego, would you saddle my horse and make it fast?"

"Si, Senor Heath."

Heath ran into the house and headed straight upstairs for a fresh shirt. When he came down, he found his mother and Audra in the foyer.

"How long ago did Jarrod and Nick leave?" he asked, finishing buttoning his shirt.

"Maybe an hour," Victoria said. "They've gone to town looking for Barton."

"Was Barton here?"

"I saw him near Father's grave," Audra said.

"Father's grave?"

"He wanted to see it."

Heath said, "I'm going after Nick and Jarrod. I'll try to keep them out of trouble if I can catch them in time."

"Heath, be very careful," Victoria said. "We have no idea what this Barton will do."

"I know," Heath said and kissed his mother. "But I think the bigger question is what will Jarrod and Nick do?"

In a few minutes, Heath was off riding toward Stockton. He had completely forgotten his own complaints in all this. They suddenly seemed petty. If he needed to patch things up with Nick, it could wait until the rest of this settled down. He hurried as fast as he reasonably could, and he worried.

XXXXXXXX

When Heath arrived in town nearly an hour later, he spent some brief time riding the streets, looking for any sign of Jarrod and Nick. Ultimately, he decided to go to the sheriff's office. He hitched his horse there and went in.

Sheriff Madden was there and so was Nick, but not Jarrod. They looked at him and it was clear they were expecting him to be Jarrod.

"Where's Jarrod?" Heath asked.

"I don't know," Nick said. "We split up to search town for Barton, but I never found him. We agreed to meet before either of us approached the man or meet here if we didn't find him."

"Did you check his office?"

Nick nodded. "He wasn't there."

"Mrs. Tate's?"

Nick shook his head. "He's been there and back again. I don't know - "

Jarrod abruptly walked in through the door.

"Where the hell have you been?" Nick blurted out.

"Relax," Sheriff Madden said, putting himself between Nick and Jarrod. "Everybody's here and safe."

"Did you find Barton?" Heath asked.

Jarrod shook his head. "I don't think he's in town."

"Do you think he's gone back out to the ranch?" Nick asked.

"I don't know," Jarrod said, frowning at the floor and thinking.

Nick gave voice to Jarrod's thoughts. "Where else would he go?"

"He could have left the area altogether," Sheriff Madden said.

Jarrod shook his head. "Mrs. Tate said his things are still there. Look, why doesn't one of us stay here and look some more with Fred, and the other two go back to the ranch? If he goes there, I don't want Mother and Audra alone with him."

"I didn't pass him on my way in," Heath said.

"Neither did we, but he could have ducked for cover and dodged us," Nick said. Nick eyed his brothers. "Jarrod, you should go to the ranch. You'd be the best one to talk to him and protect Mother and Audra."

Jarrod nodded. "Heath, why don't you come with me?"

Nick caught the meaning behind Jarrod's suggestion – thanks to Nick, Heath needed some reassurance that he was really a Barkley and part of this family. Nick said, "I'll stay here and look some more with Fred, but I'll be home in – say a couple hours tops."

Heath nodded. "Let's go."

XXXXXXX

At about that time, Victoria answered a knock at the door. She wasn't sure who to expect, but in some way she was not surprised that Jeb Barton was there, holding his hat in his hand. Behind him, Ciego looked concerned, and Victoria knew he had to be because Ciego seldom escorted a guest to the door.

"May I speak with you again?" Barton asked, politely.

Victoria wondered if he would go away if she asked him to. She saw Audra and Silas move up behind her.

"Please," Barton said. "I'm not carrying a gun. I won't hurt you."

Victoria did not necessarily believe that. She'd faced too many men who said that and then turned out to be trouble. She finally said, "Come in, Mr. Barton."

"Thank you," Barton said.

As Barton stepped through, Victoria began to close the door but said to Ciego, quietly, "Ride fast as you can to town and bring my sons back."

Ciego nodded and took off.

Audra had shown Barton to the living room, but Silas remained near Mrs. Barkley, waiting for anything she might want to say to him. She said, quietly, "Get a pistol from the library and wait just inside the doors over there. I'll yell if we need you."

Silas nodded and went to the library.

Victoria came into the living room. "Won't you sit down, Mr. Barton?" she said and motioned to one of the chairs near the fireplace as she and Audra sat on the settee.

"Thank you," Barton said and sat down. "Thank you for seeing me."

Victoria nodded, asking, "Now, what can we do for you?"

Barton took a deep breath and then sighed. "Believe me, Mother."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Jarrod and Heath, riding fast, ran into Ciego about halfway home and were immediately alarmed. "Senora Barkley sent me to get you! That man Barton is at the house!"

"You let him in?!" Jarrod blurted.

"Senora Barkley let him in!" Ciego said.

Jarrod and Heath speeded up and rode past Ciego. They arrived at the house in less than half an hour, leaving their horses at the barn and heading for the front door fast. But once there, Jarrod held a hand up and slowed things down.

"We should be calm and careful," Jarrod said. "We don't know what's going on in there."

Heath followed Jarrod's lead, leaving his handgun in its holster, letting Jarrod go in first. Jarrod opened the door quietly and they stepped in quietly together.

Victoria and Audra were sitting on the settee. From where they stood, Jarrod and Heath could not see Barton at first, but the man turned in the chair he was sitting in. He smiled. "Please come in. We were just talking."

Jarrod and Heath came into the living room. "Are you all right, Mother?" Jarrod asked.

Victoria said, "We're fine."

"We were just talking," Barton said again, remaining seated. "Going over old times, fond memories."

"Jeb, I think you and I need to talk privately," Jarrod said. "Will you come outside with me?"

Barton got up. "You're right, I think we should talk and straighten this out. I'm not a threat to you, Jeb. I don't plan to have you arrested, and I've asked Mother to assure you of the same thing."

Jarrod cringed inwardly to hear Barton talking to him as if he were a con artist stranger to this family, but Jarrod kept it to himself. "Let's just step outside into the fresh air."

Barton nodded to the ladies. "I'll be back in a few minutes," he said and headed for the front door.

Jarrod ushered him out, giving his mother a warning glance before he left but giving Heath a look that told him to keep an eye on Barton from outside. Heath followed at a distance, and he stopped on the porch, watching as Jarrod led Barton to a spot by the corral and stopped.

Jarrod had no idea how he was going to approach this. He just felt an urgent need to get this man away from his mother and sister. He had a very bad, creepy feeling that things were coming to a bad end. "Jeb," he said, "let's you and me talk about some memories, some old times we had."

"All we had was the hospital," Barton said.

"We shared a lot of memories there."

"We did. I remember telling you all about my family, my brothers and my sister, my parents. I spent a lot of time at Father's grave today. Audra led me there, but after she left I went back, and I sat for a long time."

"Jeb – "

"I know you thought I was dead. I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you've got to give up this charade of yours."

"Jeb – "

"I'm not Jeb. You know I'm not Jeb. You know who I am, and you know who you are."

"Do you remember when I told you about this place, this house?"

"I remember when I told you about it."

"What did you say?"

Barton looked back at the house, noticing Heath on the porch watching. "I told you about the columns and the big front door and that big stairway inside. I told you that my father had it built when I was a boy."

"Do you remember how Nick fell down the stairs and broke his arm when he was five?"

"I remember that he fell from a horse I was lifting him onto and broke his arm when he was six."

Jarrod had tried a ruse, offering a false memory, but Barton didn't go for it. He got the memory exactly right. Jarrod tried again. "Do you remember how you got wounded during the war?"

"Shot in the head, right near the end of the war."

Jarrod shook his head. "Shrapnel."

"No, shrapnel was you. I was hit with a rifle shot."

Jarrod tried one more time. "When you were a boy, where did you go when you wanted to be alone to think? Did you have a special place?"

Barton hesitated this time. Jarrod knew it was because he didn't know the answer to this question. They had never discussed Isla del Cielo. "My room," Barton said. "I always felt safe in my room."

Jarrod shook his head. "No. Jeb, you – JEB – you always felt safe in your room."

Barton shook his head, looking nervous. "You're trying to confuse me."

"Where is your room? How many doors from the stairs?"

Barton hesitated again. "Quit trying to confuse me."

"I'm not trying to confuse you, Jeb. I'm trying to help you. I'm trying to help you remember who you really are, because you've been hurt and you've struggled for a long time with confusing memories. We thought we were helping each other when we talked in the hospital, but I was hurting you, and I'm very sorry for that."

"No, you've got it wrong – "

"Jeb, I know very good doctors in San Francisco. Let me help you. Let me take you to someone who can help you get yourself back. Your real self."

Barton just kept shaking his head, so noticeably that Heath saw it and stepped down off the porch, coming closer slowly. Something was happening with the man, something bad. "No, stop it, you're just trying to confuse me so that I don't convince everyone of the fraud you are."

Jarrod realized he had pressed too hard, but now he didn't know how to undo what he'd done. "Jeb, no one's a fraud, not me, not you. Please – "

Barton abruptly grabbed Jarrod by the shirtfront and began to shake him. "You're a liar! A fraud and a liar!"

Barton pulled Jarrod's gun out of his holster, before Jarrod even realized he was doing it. Heath quickly came closer and took the shot at Barton before he got Jarrod's gun up. Barton went down, dropping Jarrod's gun, but Jarrod grabbed him and kept hold of him, sinking to the ground with him. "Jeb - Jeb –"

The shot brought the stable hand out into the yard, and it brought Victoria and Audra out of the front door, Silas right behind them. They stopped there, seeing what had happened.

Jarrod kept hold of Barton. "Jeb – "

Heath came closer. Barton was hit in the side, but it looked like the bullet had gone through his body, exiting out his back. Heath heard Barton whisper, "Mother – "

Jarrod heard it, too. He looked up and waved his mother over.

Victoria came quickly. She heard Barton whimpering, too. "Where's my mother – "

Victoria knelt in the dirt, and Jarrod gently lifted Barton to her lap. She took hold of the dying man's hand and cradled him in her other arm. "I'm here," she said softly.

Those blue eyes that were normally as intense as Jarrod's were beginning to fade. Barton looked up at Victoria and smiled. "Mother – I was only trying to come home – "

Victoria felt hot tears. "I know," she said. "I know."

"I'm sorry – " Barton said. "I tried so hard for so long – "

"I know," Victoria said. "But you're here now."

"I am," Barton said. "I made it."

"You made it," Victoria said.

Barton went limp. It was over. Victoria closed her eyes but didn't let go of the man right away. She laid his hand down and put her other arm around him, to embrace him. She cried for him.

Jarrod stood beside them, staring down. He sighed deeply, closed his eyes, but opened them again when he felt Heath take his arm. Jarrod looked at his brother and nodded that he was all right.

Heath helped Victoria up, and she let Barton down into the dust.

"I'll take care of him," Jarrod said.

Heath nodded and led his mother back into the house.

Epilogue

Jarrod sent the stable hand to town for Dr. Merar and the undertaker, and Jarrod never left Barton's side until they arrived. Nick and Sheriff Madden were with them, along with Ciego and the stable hand. Sheriff Madden left Jarrod alone and talked to Heath to find out what had happened.

Nick watched with Jarrod as the doctor pronounced Barton dead and the doctor and the undertaker took him away. Sheriff Madden told Jarrod he was sorry and left, too. Jarrod said nothing the entire time, just nodded to the sheriff and then watched as everyone left. Victoria, Audra and Heath watched from the porch, and then everyone just stood frozen for a while, as if they did not know what to do.

Jarrod was staring at the undertaker driving away when Nick put a hand on his shoulder. "How you doin', Pappy?" Nick asked.

"I'm not sure," Jarrod said. "I kind of just watched myself die in my mother's arms."

It sent a cold chill up Nick's back. "Yeah, that is kind of eerie, isn't it? What can I do?"

Jarrod shook his head. "Nothing. I'll be all right."

Nick fumbled a bit. "Look, I owe you a big apology," he ended up saying.

"It's all right, Nick. Let it go."

"No, I can't. I need to be sure that you know that I don't really doubt you."

"I know that."

"I sure acted like I did."

"We talked about this already. That's just you. Forget it. Really, forget it."

Nick looked up at his mother. She took his expression to be asking her to come down, so she did. Nick wandered up to the porch where she had been standing.

Victoria put her hand on Jarrod's shoulder. He looked and smiled down at her, then put his arm around her.

"I know this whole day has been very rough for you," she said. "I hope when I tried to comfort Mr. Barton it didn't shake you up too much."

"A little," Jarrod said with a smile, "but I'm glad you did that for him, and I hope it didn't shake you up too much."

"A little," Victoria responded with her own smile.

Jarrod said, "The man was just hurt, years and years of hurt. I thought I was helping him back in that hospital, but I was just hurting him more."

"How could you have known?"

"I couldn't. I never saw any of this coming. Do you know, for a while there, I almost believed him? For a while, I actually wondered if I really was Jeb Barton and he was Jarrod Barkley."

"You don't really believe that."

"No. I know who I am." He looked at Victoria. "Do you?"

She smiled. "Yes. You are Jarrod Barkley, and we all know it. I'm sorry if we led you to believe anything else."

Jarrod gave her an odd smile. "Strange, though, isn't it? Every one of us, for at least a minute or two, had doubts. You'd think that the one thing you'd be most secure about is who you are, who someone you've known for years really is. But we all doubted. Everybody except him, the one who had it wrong, the one with the damaged brain."

"Yes," Victoria said thoughtfully. "It is very strange."

Jarrod kissed her on the forehead and heaved a sigh. "Well, I have to go into town in the morning and arrange for a funeral. I don't want Jeb Barton to go to his grave alone."

"Can you do it by yourself? I can go with you."

Jarrod shook his head. "No, I'll be all right alone. It was just the two of us got into this mess. We should get out of it together, too."

"And you plan to pay for his burial as well."

"Yes," Jarrod said. "Seems appropriate." He heaved another sigh then. "Right now I think I'd just like to spend the evening with my family, Mother. That seems appropriate, too."

Victoria squeezed his arm. "I think your family would like to spend it with you, too."

She kept hold of his arm, and walked with her son back into their home.

The End


End file.
